Below are the 10 most recent journal entries recorded in the "Paul" journal:
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I've apparently taken to the habit of buying tasso every time I see it. I checked my supplies for making jambalaya today, and found that while my supplies mostly consisted of hard liquor, tonic, and frozen food - I had 3 packages of tasso and two packages of andouille. At least I have more than condiments...
/i miss you|
How much I miss those words that ran away. It was some forgotten language, some foreign language of cryptic talk meaning something and wishing everything that stuck in me. So I felt some kind of dizzy bliss, like god had some kind of game for me. Thing was, I much prefer to make the games myself. I'll make it some intricate strategy, synchronously timed with delays while the ongoing battle moves on and you could even charge forward with oneself during the ongoing flip flopping advancements among one's loose allies. A rambling dream shifting to some political stance about the power positioning itself at more power and taking more from those who grow and those who are GREAT>... The government, the enemy of the change - the stagnation. Get happy, so happy, get psychologically accepting of the situation you're in...
Somewhere in this all I start to understand myself. Such a thing! I can find myself bliss and ignore this brutal world full of foolishness. They say add something back, I'll just be happy not taking anything away. If I take nothing away, then perhaps I have lived ideally.
I could live with living ideally.
So sexy lady, let me guide you through the motions, let me show you how to think, let me guide you to bliss, to the ultimate joy in the biggest game there is, oh my lady, will you blame me if I'd rather guide you then let you run down that ugly road?
procrastination is over 9000!
It only gets worse with anxiety... Continuous work is a much better answer. People's mental states collide like menstrual cycles. The mind flows. Some say it is empathy, some say it is being focused on the same tasks... It's probably more automatic than the conscious mind would like to admit. Are you powerful enough to evoke mental states? Mind over emotion and state of being may be zen.
Alleviate a mental state. rant rhyme write blah. Coherency is a bitch I'd suffocate.
I suppose inherently I have some loose wire that screams out to me peace. I despise conflict on some psychotic unconscious level. This is not to say that I fear conflict. The exact words, if they exist, elude me. I'm more drawn to the conflict, seeking to resolve it with peaceful justice. Yet, when it comes to personal matters, it makes me reluctant to play a winning hand. It gets harder to be so reluctant when the other players are putting down low pairs. Why do people always call? Do they think I am bluffing? Do they feel I am not just?
Silly me... not fearing injustice... The world is not always just, and I do not care. Is justice fair, and do I care? Is it a blur? It's not a moral dilemma, do I wish to win? It seems my hand is being pushed. The foe is routed, Ceasar demands an execution.
Cut for embedded sound maker thingy...( Read more...Collapse )
What bothers me, and I think it's an important thing to care about, is that regulation seems to primarily introduce inefficiencies to each and every one of our everyday lives. The epitome of problematic legalese may in fact be the insistence on a coherent set of laws. Coherence, establishment, and clarity may be effective mechanisms to establish rule of law with intent of better purpose. Higher authority protects the weak.
Higher authority protects the weak. Who choses the higher authority?
Who needs the protection? The weak will not be protected. Higher authority protects the strong.
Higher authority protects the strong. Coherent x-- PREDICTABLE law protects those in power. Does an attorney recommend to do x, y, and z to avoid dealing with whatever mechanisms.
The flailing of some senator punishes the innocent in an insincere attempt to placate the gripes of the vocals.
Intent regardless of law. Intent in the things you do. Intent in the company's actions. Intent in the jury box.
Intent over law. Intent over coherence. Intent over jury.
Conscience - formally illegal; punishable as a disruption of the tyranny of the establishment.
The essence of good|
What is good?
It's a simple question. Dangerous in its nature, you will fail to answer it in any rational capacity. Whole ecosystems of belief are established on attempting to prescribe methodology to answer the chaotic essence that lies underneath. The underlying essence of this cognitive fabrication mandates explanation.
If you dare focus your mind to tip of a needle... Feel your ideals served out on some trey by Plato, lost forever, and drunkenly bent on non-ideal unrealism. Seek out something to be martyred by. The ideal is a dispersion, your reality is nothing but a bent misreality.
So you ask again, what is good? Could you scream it at the top of your lungs? The ideal, a reality, an essence, or a not way is beating at your mind unable to cognize for some unknowably infinite permutation of ideals lost in nirvana.
I come back down to reality no matter my disposition I hit some jagged line that I can't dismiss only driving me like madness at the grating essence of good.
Dismissing everything gets you not.
Rationalizing everything leaves you empty.
Staring at some kind of God only helps blind you to the question.
Arrogance leads you to omission.
Humility fails in action.
Negativity loses hope.
Hope is empty without an answer.
Empty is not the answer while without hope one cannot succeed.
Yet you still believe, you still see x over y... X OVER Y!!!
You'll scream it from ten thousand leagues!
You'll crush your head until it implodes!
I too say, X OVER Y!
I have no meaning!
X OVER Y!
RED RED RED
In his desperate denial of embracing truth he fell into a hole of coherence. The logic that began to postulate itself dared not question its own essence in fear of being trapped without application. The application in of itself was a bastardization. What cannot be explained but known in unknowing will forever be disgraced by incomplete interpretation. The secrets incomprehensible but to those who learned the way were merely superstitions of those proclaiming false scientific prophecies. So incredibly useless was the vast array of disinformation, that the mere attempts to explain such things in fact detracted the most away from reality itself, but instead reliance on false premises.
It was at that moment Pol Pot entered into the mental framework of all those surrounding.
Sanity check, one two three.
Fig nuts with butter.
Positive attitude with angst.
Incoherence with betrayal.
Chocolate iodine and cheeze wis.
Spell check for the FAIL.
All the patterning in the world will not save those who are against it. You can't mix iodine with butter. If you take 4 parts ritilin, and add it to repetition you get over prescribed hype. The boring suitors of the world unite. They form a tri-force. They join a gang. They like to talk, and the talk is all trash. Discuss the things that interest you without the capability of remembering what it was you were talking about.
It's not that I don't find you the most interesting person in the world, it's that you exude addictive chemicals. Self-censoring irony goes to defeat one's mind and way of life. I can't say the things I think because of worldly structures created to prepare for the mind-fuck apocalypse.
The agony of unrealized utopia is a bitch. You won't find it in your mama's training.
Depression versus utopia.
Depression started out with false idealistic dreams, and so did utopia. Utopia said fuck it I want a drink.
Hot sex is the best addictive formula you can buy. I highly recommend it. Next time you go to the store, tell them you're looking for hot sex. They'll most likely tell you that it's not for sale at this location, but large quantities are kept in stock. Next time, word what you want with fabrications and hair spray.
Get bored, go make something, make it with zest.
If you're straight and want a penis, I could probably make a recommendation... several if needed. Satisfaction guaranteed.
FacT: MIT students don't have sex.
Why the fuck are you reading this you freak? Go get a room somewhere.
Introversion without collusion is a bitch. You see the vibe, you run away.
Sing, dance, blather on, have no recollection of rhyme or reason, feel some sort of insipid cynic driving a clown car.
let me out for one big sigh
i see it all for one big lie
it's not desire for to die
but all for sweet delicious pie
I have no need to escape from that which was destroyed for all humanity to never partake of again.
Politics. Prejudice with reason. The Betrayer.
I tip my glass to thee, fair taxation. Who is to pay for the criminals who enforce the will of the majority? Fair taxation, perhaps a flat sales tax? A tax which, by not taxing "crime", would roughly create a 50% economic incentive on criminal organizations to avoid the government. Certainly, some Republicans are wise in their ways of making crime so profitable. Industry specific tax, a Democrat favorite, target a "harmful" industry like oil and tobacco which sell mostly to the poor, and establish a ruthless regressive tax and call it "moral". Obviously the poor have too many benefits given to them by their creator, and should ruthlessly have them stripped away by regressive taxation. Certainly, we should keep running these regressive taxes as they discourage "evil" companies from profiting too much by providing a cheap product to the poor. Sure there are hundreds of pages of illegible legal text to describe the established law of robbing the population, but perhaps then we could have a "flat" income tax. Clearly those who are generating income at a lower rate deserve to be taxed just as much as those generating a higher income. Certainly, we should be taxing the generation of wealth. Taxing actual accumulated wealth would be less "fair", as multiple million dollar houses owned by a single non-working entity generate economic activity opposed to this nasty thing called "income" which has no bearing on actual generative economic behavior. Certainly, the free market dictates as Adam Smith so poignantly points out, those enslaved by the invisible hand should be as happy as those not enslaved by paying equal portions of their productivity to the interests of the thieving majority.
Yes, I'm as liberal as they come. I'm no Democrat and I don't really fit in the Libertarian party. Liberal to the utmost of personally free, and equal to the furthest extent that we remain personally free.
Yes, I'm as skeptical as they come. I'm no Atheist and I don't fit in with the Taoist system. Skeptical to the utmost of unknowing, and open to listen to the furthest extent that there is no me but "The" which extends beyond "me".
The progressive movement is dead. The Democrats killed it.
Death to the man! and the liberal fucktard spies.
My favorite movie is "The Lives of Others".
I've been thinking of you. Watch it...
There is no such thing as taking orders. Do as you please. Obey, and betray the essence of "good".
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